Jan Geurtz’s book “Verslaafd aan Liefde” (Addicted to Love) is a self-help book that explores the underlying causes of love addiction and offers guidance on how to break free from this destructive pattern.
Key themes of the book:
Love addiction is rooted in low self-esteem: Geurtz argues that love addiction stems from a deep sense of unworthiness and a need for external validation. Individuals who are addicted to love often seek love to fill a void within themselves, and they may become preoccupied with finding and maintaining romantic relationships at the expense of their own well-being.
Love addiction follows a predictable cycle: Geurtz describes the cycle of love addiction as consisting of four phases: idealization, infatuation, devaluation, and abandonment. In the idealization phase, the love addict puts the other person on a pedestal and sees them as perfect. This is followed by a period of intense infatuation, during which the love addict becomes obsessed with the other person. However, as the relationship progresses, the love addict begins to devalue the other person and find fault with them. This often leads to abandonment, either by the love addict or the other person.
Breaking free from love addiction requires self-acceptance: Geurtz emphasizes that the path to healing from love addiction lies in self-acceptance and self-love. He encourages readers to challenge their negative self-beliefs and develop a healthy sense of self-worth. Once they have a strong foundation of self-love, they can begin to build healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
Overall, “Verslaafd aan Liefde” is a valuable resource for anyone who is struggling with love addiction. Geurtz’s insights and practical advice can help readers understand the root causes of their addiction and develop strategies for breaking free from this destructive pattern.
Here are some additional resources that may be helpful:
- Jan Geurtz’s website: https://jangeurtz.nl/verslaafdliefde1/
- The book “Love Junkie” by Carolyn Hax: https://www.amazon.com/Junkie-Love-Joe-Clifford/dp/0615782957
- The website of Love Addicts Anonymous: https://slaafws.org/meetings/
I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions.